Let's Make a Deal
by masterinkblaster
Summary: [Cow/Red Guy] When Cow accidentally sells Chicken's comics to the devil-like Comic Sans-Pants, she goes on a journey to his museum to get them back! However, it appears that she will have to give up something precious to her in order to retrieve them! A commissioned Cow and Chicken story co-written by Sparrow Wolfess of Custom Prose and myself!


"Come on, Big Brother!" Cow laughs, rushing from her room to the living room with a large box in her hands, "Today is the garage sale!"

"I don't wanna do no stupid garage sale," Chicken pouts, sulking out of his room, dragging a trash bag behind him full of things he doesn't care for anymore.

"Don't be like that, Chicken," Cow giggles, hopping in place, her udders bouncing along with her. Her brother watches, annoyed, as she hops in excitement, "Think of all the money you can make off your old things!"

"Well… you do have a point. I could afford that comic book stand for my prized comic book collection!" Chicken smiles, "Or even a new video game, or a pool full of chocolate pudding!"

"That's the spirit, Brother!" Cow giggles, mooing as she skips out the door, her brother following behind her.

The yard is full of people buying and offering trades. Cow smiles as she receives her twentieth dollar off her old goods, which are spread and displayed neatly on a blanket for people to come and observe, examine, and possibly buy. Chicken, however, scowls under a tree, his things still in the bag as he crosses his arms.

Cow skips over to Chicken, smiling, "How much money did _you_ make, Chicken?"

"Nothin'," he pouts.

"Well, it's no wonder! Your items are still in your bag. How will anyone see anything you want to sell?"

"Oh… r-right," he says, digging through the bag and tossing things out onto the lawn. Chicken, half-in the bag, continues tossing things.

"How's about I take some of these over to my blanket, Chicken?" Cow moos, "I have some extra room."

"Okay," Chicken says from inside the bag, "But if you keep my share of the money, you'll be tasting your own milk for a week!"

"Don't worry, Big Brother," Cow giggles, mooing, picking up armfuls of Chicken's tossed items, "I would never cheat you out of your earnings." She heads back to her blanket and lays things out neatly, displaying them well-Chicken's old CDs, some action figures with limbs missing, a yo-yo, and even some of Chicken's prized comic collection.

"What's this?" Cow says, looking at the comics, "Chicken must have copies, or has otherwise gotten bored of them. Oh, well! He'll make a lot of money with these, I'm sure!"

People come and go, looking through what Cow has to offer and heading on their way. Some people stopped to buy a few things: hair accessories, make up items, old, but fixable plush toys, even a few of Chicken's old figurines. A red, imp-like man in a business suit and tie pulls up to the curb and gets out of the car. He looks rather spiffy and professional in his attire, but unfortunately for him, all sense of professionalism disappears when he is revealed to not be wearing any pants whatsoever-his lower half is exposed and his fairly large buttocks are out for all to see. Regardless, the imp have never been one to sweat the small stuff, as he smiles when he sees the large stack of comic books and makes a beeline straight to Cow.

"He _llo_ , there, little missy! It's me, _Comic Sans-Pants!_ The _biggest_ comic collector in town! Perhaps you've heard of my business – Sans-Pants' Museum of Mint Comics?" he says, "Say… how much for those mint-condition comic books?"

"Oh, I'm not sure. They are my brother's. I guess he never set a price," Cow says.

"Tell ya what, I'll give ya fifty bucks for all of them!"

"Fifty dollars!" Cow giggles, mooing, "You have a deal, Mister Sans-Pants!"

"Perfect! _Thanks!"_ he says, a bit slyly, in a singsong voice as he grins, picking up the stack with ease, opening the back door of his car, and tossing them inside, almost carelessly.

"Oh, boy!" Cow says, holding the fifty-dollar bill in front of her. "Chicken! Chicke-e-e-e-en!" she cries, stampeding toward her avian brother.

"What… do you want?" Chicken says, pouting over his lack of sales.

"You made fifty dollars on some of your things!" Cow giggles excitedly, "What are you gonna do with it!?"

"Fifty dollars?! You're lyin'!" Chicken says, snatching the bill away from his sister. He takes a closer look at the money, "Wow… it's real! Fifty whole bucks! What'd ya sell to make _that_ money?!"

"Your comic collection. You forgot to price the comics, so he just made an offer. He owns a comic museum!"

Chicken stares blankly, "You… sold my comics?"

"Well, you threw them out of the bag, I thought you didn't want them no more," Cow says, starting to feel nervous.

"I… oh, man. I did! I put them in the wrong bag! Cow!" Chicken says, hopping up to Cow's udder and grabbing her shoulders, "We gotta get those comics back!"

"Are you sure? With fifty dollars, you could afford all new ones," Cow says, looking her brother in the eyes as he touches his forehead to hers, staring in panic.

"These comics are rare, Cow! You can't buy 'em in stores anymore!"

"Right… okay, Chicken. You run the garage sale and I'll go make it right, okay?"

"Cow, you're gonna get 'em back?"

"I'm gonna try. Don't tell Mom and Dad I'm gone!" Cow says, darting off in the direction Sans-Pants' car went, "I'll get your comics back, Big Brother!" Cow moos.

"She better… or else I'm selling her entire bed...and that stupid warthog doll," Chicken scowls, returning to the garage sale.

After what felt like hours of tracking down the whereabouts of Sans-Pants, Cow comes to a stop in the middle of town. Road signs of all kinds are able to point Cow in the direction of many places: the market, the pet store, the library, school, and even Sans-Pants' Museum of Mint Comics.

"Perfect! Now I know just where to go!" Cow giggles, rushing across the street, forcing cars to stop in their tracks, with some even crashing into each other. Paying no mind to the traffic disaster, Cow skips closer to her destination, soon approaching a massive building that almost looks like an old mansion. As she arrives at the front doors of the museum, she slowly pushes the doors open, stepping inside.

The museum smells like the inside of a book and along the walls are shelves upon shelves of display cases for all kinds of comics, from Japanese manga to classic American superheroes, as well as girly cartoons and old comic strips from newspapers framed on the walls. _I don't see Mr. Sans-Pants anywhere… perhaps he's in the back or something? This building is so big… what if I never find Chicken's comics?_ Cow wanders through the museum, keeping her eyes peeled for her brother's comics, but so far, she can't seem to find them.

 _"Welcome_ to Sans-Pants' Museum of Mint Comics!" calls a familiar voice. Cow turns around quickly, seeing the titular imp, Comic Sans-Pants standing behind her, "Here we have _many_ variations of comics through the years!"

"Oh, it… it's me, Mr. Sans-Pants, Sir," Cow says, "I'm the one who sold you some comics at a garage sale."  
"Oh… well, so it is," Sans-Pants says, looking down at the bovine girl, "Come to see how the comics are holding up?"

"Actually..." Cow says nervously, "I've come to get them back. You see, my brother didn't mean to sell them. It was all a big mistake."

"I see…" Sans-Pants says, rather disappointed, "Well, just give me back my fifty bucks and they're all yours!"

"Certainly!" Cow says, patting her body all over, "Oh… w-wait… I think I left the money with Chicken."

"No cash, no comics!" Sans-Pants scolds, turning his back to Cow, walking away.

"No, please!" Cow begs, "There must be something I can do! Those comics mean a lot to my big brother!"

Sans-Pants turns around, seeing Cow on her knees, begging and looking rather sad and desperate. "Oh, a-a-a-al _right,_ come with me, little one. Let's see what we can do."

Cow follows Comic Sans-Pants through a room in the back of his museum. As Cow walks through, it looks much less luxurious than the main part of the museum, but at least there are some decorations on the wall. Numerous framed photos of himself in rather provocative poses plaster Sans-Pants' walls alongside more framed comic strips.

"Like what you see, my little dairy daffodil?" Sans-Pants asks, noticing that Cow is looking at his framed pictures.

"Oh, yes!" Cow spoke up, somewhat nervously, looking at the pictures again,"These pictures are, um…" One was a vertically-framed photo of the imp with his back turned and his left hand slapping his left buttcheek, with a playful look on his face. Another large, horizontally-framed picture featured the devil-like creature laying on his belly with a rose in his teeth, a blanket covering his midsection, leaving his rear end exposed and his right leg raised in a pose that just _screamed_ 'ready for lovemaking', "...quite something." Cow finishes her sentence as she blushes.

"Hey, _thanks,_ kid!" Sans-Pants says, rather loudly, before returning to a more normal tone of voice, "I just _love_ taking self-portraits from time to time! Some people are put off by my portraits, though, though I haven't the foggiest idea why." Cow shrugs in confusion as she follows Sans-Pants into his private back room, "Now, if you'll just have a seat there," the imp says, motioning to his bed in the corner of the room.

"You sleep back here? This building is so large, why not have a larger room?" Cow asks, feeling a bit nervous.

"Oh, it's a _long_ story… so I've been thinking about how you can buy these comics back, and… tell me, my little bovine," Sans-Pants says, sitting next to Cow, "How experienced are you?"

Cow taps her hooves together, "Um, well, I'm the best reader in my class and I know how to count to ten in Spanish. Wanna hear? _Uno, dos, tr-"_

"No, no... _no,_ my dear… I mean… are you _experienced_ ," Sans-Pants says, placing his hand on Cow's lap, gently stroking it.

"Oh… u-um… I don't know if I should…"

"Now, now… no need to be so _scared,"_ Sans-Pants says, suddenly raising his voice, "Just lay there and _relax!"_

Cow is startled, immediately doing as she's told. She lays down and breathes quickly, stifling her fear, watching as Sans-Pants begins to unbutton his suit and remove his tie. Before she realizes, Sans-Pants is completely nude, kicking his clothes to the side and slowly mounting over Cow, pressing his belly against her udders.

"Now… the way you can pay me back… is to make me feel _really_ good, understand?" Sans-Pants grins, his pointy tail and ears intimidating Cow a bit. Nervous and scared, Cow can only nod. "Good, now just hold still… and trust me. You'll probably like it, too!" Sans-Pants laughs a bit, stroking his bright-red cock as he mounts over Cow.

Cow can feel his member growing against her leg. Slowly, it grows harder and stronger to the point where it twitches against her entrance. _Is this really worth it? Yes… he's my brother! I'll do anything to get his comics back!_ She closes her eyes and grits her teeth as she feels Sans-Pants' cock slowly push into her, gaping the bovine's tiny, unused pussy.

"My goodness!" Sans-Pants chuckles, "You're rather tight, aren't you?" With a bit of an inconsiderate thrust, he busts through Cow's hymen, allowing some virgin blood to trickle down his cock and over his balls. "Aha, so you _were_ a virgin, were you?"

"Y-yes, Mr. Sans-Pants, sir," Cow says, shivering beneath the stinging in her pussy. Soon, as Sans-Pants thrusts a bit more, the pain begins to be replaced by pleasure. "Oh…" Cow says, a bit intrigued, "Oh, my!" she moos, cooing and moaning softly.

"That's a good cow," Sans-Pants grins, thrusting a little harder.

"Oh, yes!" Cow moans, cooing in pleasure as she feels her G-Spot tingle as Sans-Pants grinds against it. "Oh, Sans-Pants! This is so… new to me!" she moos, lifting her hips as he thrusts a bit harder.

The two begin to pant, moaning together. Soon, Sans-Pants flips Cow over to her stomach, spreading her ass and slamming his cock deeply inside her. She moos loudly in a bit of pain, but just as before, her pain subsides and pleasure is all she feels. She moans and begs for him to go faster, to which Sans-Pants obeys.

"If I know a thing or two about cows," Sans-Pants pants, "it's that when they give milk… it's almost a... _sensual_ feeling," he grins, reaching underneath Cow and slowly stroking at one of her teats on her udders. Slowly she begins to lactate, mooing and moaning much more erotically.

"Oh, Sans-Pants… yes! J-just like that...it feels so wonderful!" Cow moans, rolling onto her back and slowly squirming in pleasure. Sans-Pants slips his cock back into her pussy and leans down, thrusting while running his tongue over her milky teat.

Sans-Pants grins as he wraps his lips around the bovine's teat and begins sucking gently, feeling the milk flow into his mouth and down his chin. He quivers in pleasure as he thrusts a little faster, listening to Cow's moans of pleasure.

The milk is sweet, pure, and warm; Sans-Pants sucks a bit harder, moving from teat to teat, leaving Cow to moan, forcing her arousal to increase. Her pussy becomes wetter, enough for Sans-Pants to be able to thrust with ease. He can feel his orgasm coming on strong as his cock throbs deeply inside her, pulsating as his balls begin to tighten.

"Please...don't stop...suck harder!" Cow begs, "It feels so good… I can feel something in my belly, Mr. Sans-Pants, sir… it feels so… mm-mmgh!" she moos, squirming in pleasure, "And your… your cock feels so good! This is my first time… and… I thought it'd be weird, but… aagh!" she moans, laying her head back and panting, moaning in pleasure under Sans-Pants' thrusts.

"That's right… there's a good cow...my little bovine butterfly," Sans-Pants grins, thrusting harder, stroking and sucking on her teats occasionally. He milks her a bit harder, allowing her milk to flow onto her belly, onto his chest, and onto his sheets, "Aagh, wow… _that_ is _hot!"_ he moans, thrusting faster, his forehead beaded with sweat. "I'm… gonna cum…!"

Sans-Pants thrusts a few more times, feeling Cow's pussy clamp around his cock, holding it firmly. She begins to convulse, her cum slowly oozing from her entrance and lubricating Sans-Pants' cock a bit more. He grins as he squeezes her teats firmly, spraying milk onto his belly, feeling his own orgasm finally flow through himself.

"I'm… c-cumming!" he says, quickly pulling out of Cow and spraying his hot, sticky seed all over her belly and udder, mixing his cum with her smooth, silky milk.

Cow moos in pleasure, feeling Sans-Pants' cum land on her; she blushes as she slowly calms her nerves. Her heart races with such energy that she can't help but blush terribly.

"So… about your brother's comics, then?" Sans-Pants smiles.

Cow arrives back home, an armful of comics and a wide grin on her face. "Chicken! Oh, Chick-e-e-e-e-en!"

"What do you want?" Chicken calls down, sulking from his bedroom window.

"I got your comics back, Big Brother!" Cow moos, excitedly, "Mr. Sans-Pants even says that you can keep the fifty dollars, as well as this collection of really rare comics he had in the museum!"

"What?! No way!" Chicken says, jumping out of his bedroom window and onto Cow, landing in the pile of comics which bury her. "I gotta be dreamin'! How did you get them back in such good condition?!"

"Well, when you do a friend a favor, they'll return it somehow, right?"

"Thanks, Cow! You're the best sister ever!"

"You're welcome, Big Brother!" Cow says, embracing her brother in a tight hug, "Say… do you think Mom and Dad could use a new car, or maybe the garage could use some more paint?"

"Uh, maybe? Why?"

"Oh… just wondering," Cow blushes innocently.

 **END**


End file.
